Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
