who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
