Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize