the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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