How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
