Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
You're like the curious george of whores
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
