The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
