no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
