I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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