I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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