he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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