just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
