I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
