You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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