i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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