did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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