yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
