I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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