covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
