He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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