Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
