okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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