3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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