tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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