Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
