I showed him my bush... on skype.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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