Duck Duck Cougar?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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