It's Friday. Sex?
i think i have herpe
just one?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
two words...techno handjob
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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