Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
