so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
did i walk over a car last night?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
