I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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