We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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