Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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