i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
