hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
