her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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