My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Randomize
