We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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