Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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