She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
