You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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