Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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