Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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