I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
