? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
