Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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