i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
She even gives head with a lisp.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
