talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
