You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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