Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
