i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
