I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
