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• (310): View more from California

  I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls

  (415): View more from California

  Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?

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• (662): View more from Mississippi

  I can't believe you blew on her face.

  (1-662): View more from Mississippi

  I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.

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• (718): View more from New York

  all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over

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• (931): View more from Tennessee

  Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.

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• (951): View more from California

  Did April legit get married in a parking lot?

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.

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