We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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