Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
