I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
