I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
stop calling my apartment porn island.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Randomize
