BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
