I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
