I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
