Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
